So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck