You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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