Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

(225): View more from Louisiana

You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

(504): View more from Louisiana

Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

(225): View more from Louisiana

I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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(504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng

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(650): View more from California

so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.

(415): View more from California

What...you let him do that?

(650): View more from California

It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow

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(650): so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow. (415): What...you let him do that? (650): It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow http://tfl.nu/aum0

Replies (72) Good night (5344) Bad night (618)
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(248): View more from Michigan

her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.

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(248): her lazy eye was starring daggers at me. http://tfl.nu/0qd5

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(347): View more from New York

Leave Me Alone

(573): View more from Missouri

At least least me cry on your voice mail

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(347): Leave Me Alone (573): At least least me cry on your voice mail http://tfl.nu/2wcv

Replies (14) Good night (565) Bad night (4314)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..

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(321): you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night.. http://tfl.nu/r63d

Replies (19) Good night (5711) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.

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(813): His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up. http://tfl.nu/dgzw

Replies (35) Good night (1377) Bad night (4185) Order T-Shirt
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?

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(973): You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later? http://tfl.nu/a1oo

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(604): View more from British Columbia

He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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(604): He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face. http://tfl.nu/1cal

Replies (11) Good night (2729) Bad night (1169) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.

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(760): running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi. http://tfl.nu/0lmy

Replies (6) Good night (2005) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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(509): View more from Washington

Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

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(509): Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here. http://tfl.nu/v9yq

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(707): View more from California

He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

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(707): He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple. http://tfl.nu/9nil

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(252): View more from North Carolina

i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.

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(252): i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no. http://tfl.nu/99ae

Replies (8) Good night (1692) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.

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(870): Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic. http://tfl.nu/y3t4

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(361): View more from Texas

WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?

(903): View more from Texas

I would peed on everything

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(361): WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM? (903): I would peed on everything http://tfl.nu/6qp3

Replies (4) Good night (254) Bad night (391)
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(928): View more from Arizona

You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions

(1-928): View more from Arizona

Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.

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(928): You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions (1-928): Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit. http://tfl.nu/mpos

Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt

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