it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!