My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
