I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
