dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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