Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
