I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
