So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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