Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
