just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
