Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
