there was a trapeze. enough said
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
