one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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