This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She said her name was "party"
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
