walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i drank out of a bidet.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
