It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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