38 yer olds are good kisserssss
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
