I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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