I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize