hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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