Kareoke will never be a sober sport
from now on my penis is your penis
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
