she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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