i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize