Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just found a bag of teeth...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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