He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
