More tranny stories later!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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