The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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