Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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