I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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