it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
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Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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