Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
