It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
