In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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