I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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