I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
