Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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