I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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