He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
