I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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