I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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