eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize