i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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