Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
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