Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize