that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
