forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
