Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
