Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
