I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
