We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
