I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
