I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i think my cat just said my name.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
