I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
