I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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