In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind