Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
