there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
