His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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