I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
