??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
