All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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