Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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